Phone Game (Part One & Two)

Phone Game Part One

I realized yesterday as we finished up another successful workshop, that no where has there ever been a published piece on the current complete Charisma Arts phone game method. So here is to remedy this. If you are having flaking problem, this WILL reduce your flakes.

Getting the Number

Remember never to ask, make a statement. “Hey, I’ve had a really nice time talking with you, here’s my phone. Put your number in.”

Then the most important part is to call her immediately and get her to put your name in her phone. “Here now I’ll call you so you have my number, my name is spelled D-A-N.”

Texting That Night

So here is another tip. Text her that you enjoyed talking with her about ______, and you will call her at a specific time and date a day or two from then; text this after you get home or the next morning. Almost without fail you will get a text back from her before that time. Call her immediately, she will probably answer right there. If not continue on to phone game.

Four Calls to Flake

First call early evening, “Hey Susan, it’s Dan. I really enjoyed meeting you on Friday and talking about [whatever you talked about with her], I’ll try you back at 9:30pm [or any time later that night].

Second call (not at 9:30 to the second, give or take 5 min), “Hey Susan, it’s Dan. I guess I missed you tonight; I’ll try you later in the week. Talk to you then.”

Third call about two days later, “Hey Susan, it’s Dan. Just wanted to give a quick call and see what you are up to. I’ll try you back tonight at 9:00. Catch you then.”

Fourth and final call, “Hey Susan, it’s Dan. Well it looks like I keep missing you. If you ever want to hang out some time give me a call [with a tone of finality], my number is 555-555-55555. Maybe I’ll see you around.”

Phone Game Part Two

So you got her phone number, you followed the first installment of the phone game sequence, and she answers, now what?

This is where you begin, as with any interaction, with the method. The six steps remember of Charisma Arts method are: Open, Get Commitment, Establish Rapport, Get Info, SOI, and Close.

Open

Whoever answers greet them with her name, “Hi Susan!”

No need to say who you are because her phone has your name in it and already told her what your name is. If it is a guy that answers do the same thing. This creates a sense of familiarity. He will likely just hand the phone to her thinking you are a close friend who expected her to answer her own phone. If you ask if she is there, then he may just ask her like this, “Uh hold on I’ll see if she is around. Who is this? Hey Susan, some guy named Dan is on the phone, do you want to take it or should I tell him you are busy?”

Not the best impression eh? Also if she answers and you ask her if Susan is there, it sets up the feeling of being strangers.

Get Commitment

Once you get her on the phone it is time to get commitment to the interaction. Start off asking, “What are you doing right now?”

If she tells you something like watching her kid brother, tell her you will call her back when she is done. This shows you expect her full attention and is very high value. I don’t like to talk to people while they are distracted and in turn I try not to be doing anything but talking if I am on the phone. No checking email or watching TV when I am having a conversation. If she says she is just watching TV then say, “Can you turn it off or put it aside for five minutes?”

I expect someone’s full attention when I talk to them; I don’t want to waste my time talking to someone who is distracted. This is how I get commitment.

Establish Rapport

Whether you are a phone person or not it is good to chat just a bit to remind her just how different your conversational style is. Relating and Appreciating her a bit will do just that. If you are not good on the phone you can keep this to a minimum, but you should do a bit.

Get Info

Ask her, “So what’s happened since the last time we’ve talked?”

This is an important step because you don’t know if she got back together with her ex, or her mom died, she’s going in for surgery, or something else that would affect how you interact with her. It would be a shame to go out with her and then at the end of the date she finally gets the nerve up to tell you she just got back together with her ex. Depending on the answer you will know whether you need to take it slower and schedule things around her moms funeral, or whether you can slide a date in the next couple days.

SOI

Time to make sure she knows why you are asking her out. Promise me you won’t skip this step otherwise you will likely be stuck dog sitting for her poodle on a Saturday night instead of going out with her. The word is Sexy and there is no other word. If you are having trouble SOI’ng her in your conversation, then try doing it in a more playful way. Say, “So what are you wearing right now?”

Guaranteed she will say something un-sexy like a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. You then say, “Ooooh I can definitely use my imagination there, very sexy.”

This is a fun way to do it because it is goofy and so cheesy it comes off well.

Close

Time to set a date. Offer her up a time and day; don’t ask. She will let you know if it won’t work. For example:

You: Ok I think we should get together, you are too much fun. Thursday at 9pm I’ll meet you down at the 3rd street pub and we’ll grab a beer.

Her: I actually can’t that day.

You: That’s cool, well that means it is your turn to propose a day and time. I don’t know you well enough to give you a weekend night, you are going to have to ask really nicely if you want me to yourself on a Friday or Saturday.

Her: Well then, I’d be honored if you joined me for a drink on Sunday night at 8pm. Hopefully that will fit into your busy schedule Mr. Popular.

Me: Sounds good. I’ll see you then.

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Social Hitchhikers is the author of the very popular blog Charisma Tips as well as the founder of Charisma Coaching where you can receive personal face to face training from the man himself. He is also a charisma coach for the prestigious Charisma Arts.

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