Want Choice In Your Relationships? Put In Effort Now.

Last night a Charisma Arts alumni called me to tell me about his trip upstate to visit a bandmate. "But I didn't even do anything and she was all over me!" he exclaimed to me over the phone. I loved hearing this because it meant that he had internalized all the stuff he learned from his bootcamp. Back in August when he took his bootcamp he listed, among other things, that he wanted to improve his approach, creating sexual tension, a sexual vibe, physical escalation, flirting, relating, showing interest in an attractive way, and even kissing. Essentially, he came to Charisma Arts to learn the skills it takes to be an attractive and powerfully sexual man. So when he called me and said that he had effortlessly picked up a girl that he described as "Dude! She was hot! Like HAWT!" it put a big smile on my face.

But, as he would tell you himself, it didn't happen right away. Before everything becomes ingrained and before it "just happens" there might be a period where you're still learning and developing your own skills and vibe.

I know that I went out every weekend and most weekdays after my bootcamp to make sure that it all stayed with me. And so did our hero above.

When he found a sticking point, he methodically worked on it until he figured it out. When I gave him the friendly advice that he wasn't physically escalating enough, he didn't want to hear it, but he took it for what it was worth and took action to get over it. Now every time I've seen him with a group of girls he's all over them and they love it. In the past month I have (and I'm not at all exagerating) not seen one woman that wasn't totally into him after a few minutes of conversation.

And during one of his "practice sessions" he spent an entire day having conversations with people all over Manhattan. He happened to meet his current GF that day. As he tells it, he had talked to every friendly person he saw and already gotten phone numbers from different girls and decided to call it a day and head home. But he stopped in a store on his way and saw an attractive woman. A few months ago, he might have stared at her and left, or ignored her completely, but instead he went up and started talking to her and picked her up too.

And what I'm most proud of him for is the fact that he recognizes that relationships are both extremely rewarding but also fleeting while in his twenties. So instead of being like so many other guys I've met that get a GF and the just stop even trying to talk to other girls, our hero instead comes out every weekend and still talks to girls. But he stops short of taking it anywhere he doesn't want it to go. And, as far as I can tell, he hasn't even thought about cheating on his GF, but by simply still going out and making new female friends, he has given himself the most important thing a man can have when it comes to dating - choice.

Rob is an instructor for Charisma Arts. He runs a blog called A Man and a Women, which he updates frequently. His philosophy is based on becoming very good at the basics of seduction.