Conversation and Confidence Exercises

Personal Interview

What if someone wanted to know who you really are? What would they ask you and what would you tell them? These questions are not easy to answer. You have to have a strong lock on who you are, and have to make some decisions about where you are at and where you want to go. These questions will cause you to have to think a LOT about your life; that is the point of this exercise. When you are able to confidently answer all of these questions you will start to see strong gains in confidence and a better self image.

1. What is your passion?
2. Tell me 5 interesting things about you?
3. What makes you really happy?
4. What is one character trait you have that you appreciate about yourself?
5. What are the important things you need in a partner?
6. Why are those things important to you?
7. If someone wrote a list of things about you that fit their needs in a partner, what would they be?
8. What are your dreams for the future?
9. What are 3 defining experiences in your life that have made you who you are?
10. Name 3-5 beliefs you have about yourself that hold you back, and you would like to change.
11. What are your weaknesses and how could each weakness be viewed as a strength?
12. What really scares you about meeting a partner to enter a long term relationship with?
13. What are your assumptions about most of the opposite sex out there and their attainability, worthiness of a relationship, and their thoughts about you?


Five Topics

Think of five different topics you would enjoy talking about, as well as someone of the opposite sex would enjoy talking about. Come up with an open ended question to start you off into that topic. Ex. “What is your relationship situation?” for getting into a talk about relationships.

Emotionally Relating

Make a list of every positive emotion you can think of. For each emotion write down a short headline to a story, moment, or experience, when you felt that emotion.





Story Telling

Write down a story from your experience. Headline it, add emotions, details, and tell it from the “I” perspective. Now take that story and add more emotions and details. Remove extraneous facts and explain how and why you felt those emotions during that time. Keep adding more details and emotions until the story is so expressive you know there isn’t anything else you felt that is not in the story.

Deal-Breakers

What are the things about the opposite sex that are deal-breakers for you? A deal-breaker is any character trait, action, or belief that makes them immediately disqualified from ever being your romantic partner. Here are a few I want you to add to your list

1. Physically abusive
2. Verbally abusive or insulting
3. Lies more than once about anything important. (Or lies frequently about anything)

Don’t list things you think you should; list what you feel strongly about. Remember a deal-breaker is something that if it is revealed, you don’t just walk, you run away. Any present or future romantic relationship with this person is over if a deal-breaker is found.
Also don’t feel bad about adding a deal-breaker that others might not agree with. If you don’t want kids, and you find out that kids are important to your partner, that is a deal-breaker. Don’t expect them to change, either you decide you are truly ok with having kids, or you find someone else.