The Platonic Vibe and Beyond

You've learned about personal vibe, how to connect with a girl, how to have genuine interest and how to keep a conversation going. You also read about getting sexual, but what about before all that? What about the platonic vibe?

To me, the most overlooked aspect of meeting someone new is the platonic level of the interaction. This is the person's first impression of you, it's a very important part of meeting someone. Juggler puts it perfectly when he says that when you first approach a girl, she doesn't give a shit what comes out of your mouth, all she notices is your vibe. How you talk about things, how you react to her response of you, how you do everything, that is your vibe.

He recommends that the platonic vibe should last about 45 seconds. Is he serious? Yes. Thing is, ALOT happens in 45 seconds, she decides a lot about you. She also has a lot of questions on her mind about you, like why you are approaching her. What do you want from her? Are you here because you want sex, or are you gay and you just want to be friends?

I used to think that I needed a good excuse to talk to her. The fact is, that is just wrong. It is such a confident trait to be able to approach someone and have no reason to be approaching other than that you just wanted to talk to her, or you're in the mood to have fun with someone, or she's pretty and you want to see what she's like.

There are still times where I see a girl, and I scan my brain for something that would be a good opener, or a good topic that she'd be happy talking about. That's when nothing good enough ever enters my mind. "What would I say? She wouldn't wanna talk about that. Plus, I hate talking to girls about 'girl' stuff, it's so borrrring."

If you are having problems thinking of things to say to a girl, or thinking up reasons to approach, STOP... and take a breath.

Instead, think of a particular mood or mindset that you are in or want to be in, and approach the situation with that mood in your vibe. For me it is usually the same mindset: fun, spontaneous, and interested. That is your opener and conversation topic, and it will be different every time. The great thing about it is it will not only arm you with an opener on the spot, but will also arm you with the perfect vibe and body language.

Planning your VIBE is much better than simply planning a few words to say or a sweet question to pop: "Hey I like your style, what should I get for my little cousin for his birthday?" That opener will be worthless if you say it like an asshole.

Remember... Fun, spontaneous, and interested.

For example, sometimes I spend the first 30 seconds having fun just giving the girl a cool different way to handshake, or rating her hug from 1 - 10 and then explaining why she got that rating, maybe she can teach me a better way to hug that feels really good. We don't actually TALK about anything, we're just vibing with one another.

To me, the platonic vibe is not about fluff and it is NOT just a way to move in to a personal vibe. Platonic vibe is one of my favorite parts of the interaction. We are both feeling each other out and the initial vibe will also decide the overall feel of the interaction. If you start it off upbeat, chances are it will stay that way. If you start it off slow and non-committed, you can expect it to continue in that direction.

If she asks, "Why are you here?" the response is, "Because I like you," or, "Because I'm in a good mood," or, "Because I want to have fun. Okay, now my turn to ask YOU a cool question..."

If she says, "Oh yeh? How about you go 'like' somebody else," then just be spontaneous, interested, have fun and say, "Haha, you're bad, I like that.. So what's your favorite food? (or whatever)" and keep flirting with her.

The question now is... how do you have fun? Well, by talking about things that YOU are interested in talking about. Things that you like. That doesn't mean keep it to the five topics in your life that you are passionate about, it means talking about ANYTHING that you like.

"I like cheese because there's something about stinky hard cow dairy that just turns me on. What random stuff do you like?"

"Whenever I see a Hot Topic store, it brings me back to when I was a 9th grader and all I listened to was punk and ska music. I remember I was so scared to walk into Hot Topic because of all the scary looking people in there, but they had the BEST punk CDs in the mall. What kind of person were you in 9th grade?"

See? JM doesn't necessarily mean I have to get into deep passionate rapport every time I converse with a girl, it means I like to talk about everything that interests me even the slightest. There's a place and time for everything, but talking about your life dreams and goals may not ALWAYS be the best things to bring up in conversation with a girl. Keep it light and fun. Always fun.

Remember, if you are not talking about things that interest you, then you are not having fun. Plus, a girl doesn't want to hear you try to bring up conversation that caters only to her, she wants to get to know you just as much as you want to get to know her. We relate on emotions anyway, not on topics.

Whatever it is, you can get away with any type of approach or conversational topic, as long as you have a fun, spontaneous, interested, and confident vibe going.

And always remember...

You are the alpha male, you make the rules. You can make any situation work.

MyBirthdayPony is the blogger behind Tips On Getting Girls and is a Charisma Arts Alumni.

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